A precious family photo from our family trip to Siesta Key, Florida - April 2022
how dad’s death makes this easter feel different
Every year as I sit in church on Good Friday, I am overwhelmed with fresh shock and awe over how Jesus was so badly beaten, and nails were literally pounded into his flesh so He might be hung like a criminal on a wooden cross.
As Jesus hung on the cross gasping for air, his lungs collapsing, God heaped the sins of the world on his shoulders. Jesus cries out “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?” because in that moment He was truly abandoned by the Father. He had to be in order for Him to take on the fullness of the wrath of God that humanity deserves because of our sin.
When Jesus breathed his last, the world went dark – literally.
Jesus’ disciples wept. His mother was in agony.
Jesus was dead.
The stench of death
Death changed my life on May 13th when it took my dad from this earth. Like a thief in the night, he was here one moment and gone the next. The shock of his unexpected death was an earthquake that shook its way through my reality, upheaved the stable ground I once stood on, and forced a tsunami of sadness, anger, and confusion to cover me. My world, now cracked and crumbling, drowned in grief.
I hate death. I hate the way it chokes out life. The way it thrusts the living into darkness as they mourn the loss of their beloved and try to navigate the new terrain they did not choose to explore. Death is the foul stench that permeates all of humanity – there is absolutely nothing we can do to avoid it.
With this fresh taste of death, Good Friday felt weightier this year. I cried many tears in church today.
I can empathize on a deeper level with the family and followers of Jesus who were scorched by the searing pain of loss. When Jesus’ body crumpled on the cross, the man they had come to know as the Son of God, their savior, was swallowed up by death. Every bit of their reality was shattered by the loss of Him.
Until three days later. When EVERYTHING changed. Not just for them, but for all of us.
Death is not the end
Three days after Jesus’ died and was buried, his tomb was empty. Why? Because He was alive! In flesh and bones, with the wounds from the cross and the spear stabbed in his side, Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene and then to His disciples.
The man who died a brutal death on the cross, was risen from the dead and later ascended into Heaven to sit at the right hand of God the Father. Oh, what a miracle!!
Can you imagine being one of the people who witnessed this? One day they watch their Lord and friend die on the cross, and a few days later they see Him standing right there in front of Him, full of life and breath. How baffling! How confusing! How hard to grasp! I would have been the disciple standing there in disbelief like, “wait, what?! HOW!? TELL ME EVERYTHING!”
Even as I retell this story, it baffles me all over again. How can this be? Praise the Lord!
In that moment, although I’m sure they were still mystified, the followers of Jesus could tangibly see the miracle of what God had done. But what they didn’t know then, what we have the gift of knowing today, is that Jesus’ death and resurrection changes everything.
When Jesus’ died and rose again, He defeated death. He defeated the evil one. And He gave us a plethora of gifts – many that we get to enjoy through the Holy Spirit while we live on earth, but the grandest of them all being a guarantee that if we believe in Him, death is not the end for us either. After death, we get to spend eternity by His side in Heaven.
Death is necessary
I wish that we could bypass the painful part of life where we lose the ones we love. To put it lightly, it hurts, really hurts to go through life without my dad. This has been the most challenging, heart-wrenching eleven months of my life.
What struck me today is that death is necessary. I know that feels like a “duh” but hang with me for a second.
As humans we know death is necessary because it’s a fundamental part of life. We cannot avoid it.
But as Christians we know that death is necessary because until Jesus comes again, it is through death we get to enter into life in eternity with the Lord. Hallelujah, praise the Lord!
Jesus’ death was necessary. If He had not died, there would have been no resurrection. And without His resurrection, no victory over sin and death. His death and resurrection was vital! Because of it, death is not the end; it is the beginning of something far greater than the life we live and breathe on earth.
And death is necessary for us too. Our bodies cannot physically live forever, but because of Jesus, death now has hopeful necessity. Dad’s last breath on this earth was not the end of his story, it was an instant transition. An end of life here as he knew it, and a beginning of life in Heaven with the Lord.
Don’t get me wrong. Death still sucks. I still hate it. It still took my dad from me. But not forever- because when death comes for us, Jesus is there just as He promises to take us to the place He prepared for us. In the same moment dad left here, He was there in the presence of Jesus getting to see the full glory of Heaven.
This Easter feels different
It’s normal for me to cry in church on Good Friday and Easter. Church always feels electric on these days, the worship amplified, as we join together to remember the death and celebrate the resurrection of our savior Jesus. The understanding of what God did for us through Jesus is overwhelming, always has been. But this year, it’s intensified.
Last Easter, I stood next to my mom and dad in front of the orchestra, belting our hallelujahs to Jesus alongside the trumpets and strings. It was a really sweet day together.
This year, my dad won’t be there. That crushes me. I wish he was here, giving me hugs as I type this through sobs, my glasses splattered with tears. But alongside my sorrow I am SO happy for him. He’s THERE. He is not sad. He is not broken. He is not surrounded by the challenges of this earth. He is experiencing the fullness of God and all of His glory in heaven.
I know that my daddy is most definitely singing Hallelujah with his beautiful voice, and getting to do it right there with Jesus and the rest of the saints who went before him. So with more passion than ever before, I will belt my hallelujah (with tears streaming down my face no doubt), knowing that on Easter I celebrate Jesus’ work on the cross that gives us life after death.
Don’t miss out
Dear friend, if you don’t know Jesus, take the time to get to know Him. I want to be there alongside you in heaven one day, celebrating the joy of the fullness of eternity with our savior.
Knowing Jesus and believing what He did for you is the ONLY way to guarantee that you too, will be there. Read about what He did for you in the Bible. Believe it. Believe that you are a sinner, believe that Jesus’ death and resurrection was the pinnacle of God’s plan to redeem your brokenness, and you, my friend get to experience not just the goodness of life on earth with God’s blessings, but the fullness of glory one day in Heaven.
Romans 10:9-10 says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.”
If you see me on Easter Sunday, sobbing my little eyes out don’t be alarmed. I cry because I miss my dad and wish he was standing next to me there in church. But I also cry tears of gratitude for my savior who took on the most selfless act, death on the cross, so that you and I might live. And that, my friends, is worth crying over.